I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Randomize
