where does the pee come out of this thing
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize