And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
