Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
