I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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