Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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