Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My pussy is not your playground.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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