Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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