not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Bring me that man meat
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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