talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I need moral support for this bender
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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