I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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