if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
