I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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