i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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