YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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