Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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