new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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