His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
