NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
