Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Non-Jews are for practice
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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