she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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