Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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