Me too!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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