had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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