True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
wow bdsm is so cute
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