U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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