I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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