SEEEEXXX PLEASE
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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