I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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