its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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