her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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