he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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