ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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