Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Randomize
