Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
