does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
