Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
