Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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