I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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