508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
