we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
