But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
