I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
