Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize