The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Randomize
