yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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