I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
