I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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