if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
