he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
