Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
