well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Randomize
