D3 body, D1 cock
You're my little dorito
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
When are your genitals available?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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