what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
