Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
