I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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