Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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