The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize