i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
