I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You can't special order awesome
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
